Resurrected Mind

Heal Your Mind, Transform Your Life – Through A Course in Miracles


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8 Things you need to know to free your victim role

When someone betrays you, or doesn’t fulfill his or her promise to you or completely lets you down it’s very easy to feel abandoned, unloved, and confused.

You may feel angry, shocked, disbelieving that this could happen to you, you wonder how you were blind and couldn’t see the motivations of the person who harmed you.  You realize you were not in control of the situation and were prey to someone’s ulterior motive, which was not to love you.

You have a choice before you:  victim or creator.  This fact can free you to heal from this and see that can learn something.  You can allow for the feelings while accepting that you are growing from this and can embrace it as part of this growth process.

The pain of these mind states can overwhelm you, yet it is essential if you are to become free of them that you consider these ideas:

  1. You are not in control of what other people choose to do. Don’t take it personally that they have made a choice to let you down. Its not even about you.
  2. Taking full responsibility for your thoughts about it is critical to your awakening.  Remember, all thoughts have power.
  3. Your thoughts of victimization keep you in pain and do not allow for release of this pain. Therefore, do not accept it.  There is no power in victimization, you have given it away to the victimizer.
  4. You must accept responsibility, maybe not for what has occurred, but for the feelings which arise from it.  This distinction will clarify that you cannot control what happened, but you can control how you respond to it.
  5. Take the focus off the other guy entirely.  Let him be.  Just focus on the part you played within the situation, and accept that you can learn from it and move on.
  6. Becoming more aware of the blocks that keep you from accepting yourself as whole and perfect is a good thing, even if you can’t see that it is helping you yet.
  7. Harping on what happened only keeps you in pain.  Don’t tell everyone you meet, just allow that you need to stop telling the story, and get some rest from the idea that you need to justify your feelings of victimization.
  8. Own the vulnerable you that experienced this and give it more love.  Be a parent to yourself for a moment and let the child in you experience it while you extend love to her.

You will discover that, in spite of all that seems to be happening, you are coming into greater knowledge of yourself.  You are in control of the outcome, you can use this to free you from the nightmare of separation.  This can trigger deep abandonment and you can use it to accept that you can never be truly abandoned by God.

 

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Laughing at Fear

I just put together a bunch of new blog topics and this was at the top of my list. I wanted to share with you how easy it can be to release fear. The Course gives this line as the entire reason for the dream of separation or the descent into hell: “you had a tiny, mad idea at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh.”

Remembered not, or forgot. Remembered not, which means you, the Son, remembered what did not happen. You remember the fall, the schism, the pain of loss, the moment where pain replaced joy and the kingdom was a forgotten memory. This is really important so I have to emphasize what you remembered not…that you remembered not to laugh!

You remembered only to take it seriously and to believe it and judge yourself for it and harp on it and make it all a real experience. And then you felt so guilty, you projected the guilt out away from you onto the only thing you could find, your body. And then other bodies you found around you, Adam blames Eve for the fall because she is the only one there. Then you became so afraid that God would punish you, so you punished yourself for this so called act.

All the while, you kept the little secret to yourself that you feel so guilty about and you keep it hidden so far down inside you, you would feel just terrible if anyone ever found out. This is what drives people to sedate all the time! Yet, when you uncover the whole reason you feel so bad about yourself, you feel the incredible pain of the guilt and self-hatred you subconsciously harbor within yourself…then something can begin to open up. You have simply had enough of it. Deep resentment, deep shame and guilt. It is time to surrender.

So, for however long you have been trying to hide and not resolve your guilt, by projecting it, stop now. Take the pain back to its source, your own mind. And finally allow the solution to occur within you. Resolve the riddle of yourself as a separate being and realize one thing: It isn’t true, you are not guilty because the dream had no real effects.

The guilt of suffering and pain lasts until you just expose the cause and let it all go! A miracle occurs, a shift in perception. A realization, a remembering of the love you once knew as your communication with your Creator. You forgot to laugh, you thought He had abandoned you. No, dear one, He didn’t. He is right there inside you and always has been.

Now, what can possibly be so important and serious? I know you took it very seriously, sure, so did I. But every error is undone in exactly the same way: the love and light shines on your idea of separation, and lightens it to the point where it disappears into the nothingness from which it came.

Isn’t it time, right here and now to begin to laugh at yourself? It was a tiny, mad idea, it had no effects. God did not do it to you, you did not do it to you. You can laugh now. It was a crazy idea that has no possibility of being true and never did. It is futile to continue to think you have to resolve an unreal problem. That is why awakening is a recognition, not a change at all.

This attack upon yourself is old and tired and never brought you any relief whatsoever. It isn’t hard to let it all go, it is the easiest thing in the world, it is the relinquishment of the underpinnings of your dream. It is your awakening.

The simplicity of this idea strikes me each time I feel the release that comes with the “aha!” I was doing it to myself all along and I can stop right here and now!

Love is all around you, within you, and IS YOU. You are not ever going to be able to be anything but YOU. Laugh at the idea you could change a perfect, whole idea in the Mind of God!

Monica